Awakened by Another Nightmare

another nightmare

What a way to start a holiday!

My early morning dream jolted me awake. What did it mean? Maybe it reflected the uncertainty I feel in uncertain times.

In this dream — another nightmare — I have double booked myself with one too many appointments and am frantically trying to find my car as I bolt out of the last engagement. 

Now I have to pick up dinner for guests whom I have left waiting for me. What will they think of me? 

It’s growing dark; now, I must hurry through a city, one I know — Baltimore, or Washington — for I have walked around it many times. 

I parked the car on the street. But, what street? 

Now, I dart across busy intersections, dodging big trucks seeking it; I’ve gone too far. Let me go back. 

But where was I?

How can I get back to the site of that last appointment? 

I’ve lost all sense of direction. It’s growing dark, menacing people are emerging and I can’t see the landmarks for which I search. 

I am running and I don’t where.

Whoa.

 What a way to wake on a holiday morning when I could have slept in! 

At least I didn’t have to exercise to get the old heart pumping this morning! I guess that’s a mixed blessing of a nightmare. 

But that feeling of vexation with myself— lingered, for:

1)  again doing what I know I should not have done — trying to juggle too much, and

2) not doing what I should have — remembering where I parked the car! .   

So, I dressed a wee bit faster and got on with the morning — which meant pouring another cuppa coffee, and casting about for a  way to process the jumble of emotions and images. 

A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read.  ~The Talmud

Recalling the dream, and recording it before the day dispelled it, I still don’t know what to make of it.  

  • Was it  simply a variation on a recurring character defect that trips me up—  my poor planning skills? 
  • Or maybe  its disturbing impressions more  accurately reflect my panic realizing I now live in a post everything  time, and I still wonder how to do that. 

Remembering my powerlessness to reorder anything but my attitude helps. So does asking for help.  

Four Questions 

1. Have I screwed-up  my day and maybe inconvenienced others by my own carelessness? 

Stop pretending it’s not my fault.  Do the next thing — apologize. 

2. Am I so set on my agenda I lost track of navigating unknown territory? 

Ask for some direction . . . after all, it’s not like God lost track of me, even if I doubt sometimes He’s looking. 

3. Is my anxiety overtaking my common sense? 

Breathe; take a deep one, and trust God didn’t die and leave me in charge. There are definite benefits to switching seats  when I think God is my Co-Pilot.

4. What do I say when people are saying good is evil and evil is good? Well, God’s gonna have to do the talking . . . meantime offer the cold water I have.  

You who spun the galaxies into space, now hold my worrywart heart.” (Living with a Purpose in a Worn-Out Body, page 15 — Changing What I Can)

So, I’ll keep painting . . . 🙂

another nightmare

Dandelions and ladybugs

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Thanks for sharing!