Awakened by Another Nightmare
My early morning dream jolted me awake. What did it mean? Maybe it reflected the uncertainty I feel in uncertain times.
In this dream — another nightmare — I have double booked myself with one too many appointments and am frantically trying to find my car as I bolt out of the last engagement.
Now I have to pick up dinner for guests whom I have left waiting for me. What will they think of me?
It’s growing dark; now, I must hurry through a city, one I know — Baltimore, or Washington — for I have walked around it many times.
I parked the car on the street. But, what street?
Now, I dart across busy intersections, dodging big trucks seeking it; I’ve gone too far. Let me go back.
But where was I?
How can I get back to the site of that last appointment?
I’ve lost all sense of direction. It’s growing dark, menacing people are emerging and I can’t see the landmarks for which I search.
I am running and I don’t where.
What a way to wake on a holiday morning when I could have slept in!
At least I didn’t have to exercise to get the old heart pumping this morning! I guess that’s a mixed blessing of a nightmare.
But that feeling of vexation with myself— lingered, for:
1) again doing what I know I should not have done — trying to juggle too much, and
2) not doing what I should have — remembering where I parked the car! .
So, I dressed a wee bit faster and got on with the morning — which meant pouring another cuppa coffee, and casting about for a way to process the jumble of emotions and images.
A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read. ~The Talmud
Recalling the dream, and recording it before the day dispelled it, I still don’t know what to make of it.
- Was it simply a variation on a recurring character defect that trips me up— my poor planning skills?
- Or maybe its disturbing impressions more accurately reflect my panic realizing I now live in a post everything time, and I still wonder how to do that.
Remembering my powerlessness to reorder anything but my attitude helps. So does asking for help.
1. Have I screwed-up my day and maybe inconvenienced others by my own carelessness?
Stop pretending it’s not my fault. Do the next thing — apologize.
2. Am I so set on my agenda I lost track of navigating unknown territory?
Ask for some direction . . . after all, it’s not like God lost track of me, even if I doubt sometimes He’s looking.
3. Is my anxiety overtaking my common sense?
Breathe; take a deep one, and trust God didn’t die and leave me in charge. There are definite benefits to switching seats when I think God is my Co-Pilot.
4. What do I say when people are saying good is evil and evil is good? Well, God’s gonna have to do the talking . . . meantime offer the cold water I have.
You who spun the galaxies into space, now hold my worrywart heart.” (Living with a Purpose in a Worn-Out Body, page 15 — Changing What I Can)
So, I’ll keep painting . . . 🙂