In conversations in the middle of the night, I am better off talking to God than to myself. Current events and the new normal breed fear if I listen to me.
Early in the morning, when sleep decides to take a break, I talk to God; if I talk to myself, I get into arguments. I’d be lying if I told you I am not anxious about each day’s revelations. I am plenty anxious!
Everything has changed.
Let me not confuse whom I fear with what.
And He will be the stability of your times,
A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge;
The fear of the Lord is his treasure. (Isaiah 33:6)
Last night, as the daily news sunk in – I got a new appreciation for what shaking the whole world might be like. (Hebrews 12:26)
I always thought that when God was ready to get the world’s attention, He would interrupt our electronic devices – extinguish our power grid – or send a cataclysmic storm. However, we made it through Y-2K, 9-11, the 2004 Tsunami, Fukushima, and 2008 financial debacle — and we missed His call.
But, a Virus . . . a virus has shut us and the whole world down!
Maybe we really aren’t so big and scary after all.
Makes me think of old Ozymandais:
In some ways, these times make me feel as if I am on the set of Ghost-Busters – when menacing creatures materialized terrorizing the population. Who Ya Gonna Call?
So, yes, in the middle of the night, I call God . . . He is what is familiar in unfamiliar times. And He promises to pick up. (Jeremiah 33:3-9)
As a child, I was taught Now I Lay Me; maybe you were too.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
If I should live another day
I pray the Lord to guide my way.
Amen* (Isaiah 41:13; 42:7)
Old words have new nuances.
The words make more sense now then they did when I was a child. Because I really have no idea, what tomorrow holds; I don’t think that has fully clicked. Hence anxiety! So, it’s best not to talk too much to myself, including pep talks.
In the conversations in the middle of the night, then, for now:
It is easier to surrender everything at one blow than give half and keep half. (Richardson Wright, A Book of Days for Christians, page 70)
PS: And during the day, I have time to keep painting!
I even have curious on-lookers:
PPS: You might like an earlier piece about Now I Lay Me:*New Grass
Not a critic, but a model! Thank you for sharing your peace evoking thoughts and reminder of God’s sovereignty. Blessings my friend!
Also, I am reading Love Your Enemies—it is helping me untangle the knots.
He’s a pur-r-r-fect model!